Have you ever seen the show Taxi Cab Confessions? I think it was on MTV in the early 2000’s. The thing that always surprised me about the show was that the people actually agreed to go on TV. If you have not seen it, there is a hidden camera in a cab. People air their dirty laundry (somehow the cab driver must have initiated it, I cannot remember), then are told they are being taped. Of course, due to privacy laws, they had to agree to be on television. I just never figured out why anyone would want to do this. But I also do not understand why one would want to be on reality TV either.
My sister was actually on reality TV once. She was the first person in history to not make a fool of herself. She was actually quite humorous!!
Well, anyway, this post is not actually about taxi cab confessions but rather true life confessions.
I am tired.
I am tired of being tired.
The reality of having two children fairly close together has hit me in recent weeks. I am in love with my children and adore them more than I ever thought possible. So it is not anything against them. They are just both at an age where I am worn out every single day. Chloe is very mobile but not super self controlled. So I have to watch her every move. She has no fear, so she will crawl up on anything but cannot get down as easily. A few days ago I noticed the door to the basement was open. Chloe was 1/2 way down the stairs. I have no clue how she got there, because she is not good with going down stairs yet. Chloe also eats anything in sight, which can pose a problem.
Caleb is hilarious and fun. But he is also very trying. As far as two year olds go, he is actually probably pretty mild. When he does not want to listen, he just does not listen. And that is often.
The combination of the two are wearing me out. It probably does not help that Chloe screamed the entire day yesterday. I think she’s teething, but Motrin did not help (which it usually does).
Brett has been awesome about letting me sleep in/get breaks/etc. But he works (obviously), so there is only so much time in the week!
I know its a passing phase. And for the most part, I am doing good. I just am tired of being tired. When I am tired, it makes all of life so much more dramatic. I hate that.
In two weeks, I am going on a girls trip to Dallas for 3 days. That will be just what I need.
In the midst of my frustration with being tired (and therefore being ultra sensitive and dramatic), I read this. And I was very encouraged.
I especially loved the part about “Be still my soul, thy Lord is on my side”. I know that, but today, it just really needed to be repeated.
Actually after thinking about the Lord, I felt much more refreshed. But I still wanted to write this. Partly to be transparent. Partly to remind myself in a few years that this time really is difficult. So when young mothers share their heart, I will not write it off as “its not that bad”. Somedays, it IS that bad. But it always passes. And the good always outweighs the bad. And that is the hope I have!
Also, in regards to the quote on Melissa’s blog, I totally made that sign for my kids’ rooms: “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love.” I loved that! And its so true!!